What Happens When You Don't Wear Your Emotions on Your Sleeve?

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What happens when you don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve? We tend to stuff them somewhere believed to be “more appropriate”. Where’s that? Usually, deep down in our inner most being where digestion is compromised and gut-twisters erupt to wreak havoc in unexpected moments. If not worn openly, we may stuff these emotions into non-correlating outburst of “discipline”, “correction”, and “stifling of others.” What harm could that do, it is the norm after all? Huh. Right.

My transformation adventure took form when I saw the ripple-effect of unintentional emotional discharge terraforming organization after organization into elephant preserves—where elephants in the room outnumber employees three to one. It continues to happen every time I experience the emotional projection of others (and myself of course :-D). You know what it feels like to be on the other end of someone else’s spew, rant, or drama.

For me, I’ve found that every pity-party has a package to open—a gift of insight. When my expectations aren’t being met, I feel failure, whether it’s another’s, my own, or both. But the so-felt failure is between reality and expectations and is, quite frankly, inevitable. So, what is the stuffed emotion to be unwrapped and received with joyful liberation? First and foremost, is acknowledging the ever-present fear component. We all fear. What we learn from that fear and how we choose to respond is the essence of our character and integrity, which shapes our experience in the wild and wooly world of work. Every harsh outburst, rash decision, dismissive reaction, and condescending comment is packed with emotional information about each person involved. Understanding your contribution is to reclaim your personal power in the situation. What did you expect to happen? What did they expect? Ask them. They don’t always know, but the question redirects the situation to what it’s really about—them. Your reaction, however, is all you—always. What are your feelings telling you? You can walk through the fear to make new choices or out the door to find a better fit. This is how the organizational wild™ is won. Avoidance only makes you a “handler” of the elephant in the room.