The Cycle of Doubt

White paint wave

The cycle of doubt is what prevents us from changing or discussing what’s in play until the results are known. In doing this, we eliminate the adventure! The unknown is what makes it adventurous. My transformation adventure would be of no use to you if it were an after-action report. Okay, some of it has been, but I think we’re just about caught up! I don’t know what’s happening next!

I was having a particularly frustrating day (yesterday) when I realized I had been pushing so hard to “make” something happen I lost the purpose and pleasure of appreciating what “is” happening. When you find yourself doubting your abilities and work in a situation, frustration comes from the part of you that knows this pity-party is irrelevant. You already are serving a valuable purpose. You just may not be seeing it, or it may not be the one you fancy yourself serving. You don’t need someone else to validate you. Of course, we’ll always want that confirmation. I admit that I do. The difference is that we don’t need it. Truly. What we do need is to be honest with ourselves. Truly.

I also know that the best cure for doubt and uncertainty is service. When you find yourself worrying about things out of your control (how a report will be received, how your presentation went, how your colleagues view you, how your job efforts meet expectations, etc.—whatever might plague after you’ve done your best and your part is performed) and your brain starts manufacturing the coulda-shoulda-wouldas, pick up your head and look around you for others in need. Then lend a hand to lighten their load and lift their spirits. This is a critical leadership lesson lost. You don’t need to chat others up to give them a break. That only waste’s everybody’s time and increases stress. But sharing a burden while learning about them creates the certainty of caring in an uncertain world of work.