Leading the self involves continual transformation. It’s about unbecoming what you’re not on the fly and in front of people. That’s hard to do. It is difficult to discern what we bring to a situation while we’re in it. Our focus is on what is in front of us. The faster the pace, the bigger our blind spots can become.

Transformation begins when we take the time to consider our own impact. Our strengths and weaknesses can become lost to our on-the-job learning, as we become what we need to be, in order to do what’s been asked or to satisfy perceived needs. It is the noble desire to serve and the persistent pressure to achieve that compel us down a path we suddenly cannot recognize. Our surroundings look familiar, but they feel all wrong or sometimes just not right. This is, at least, my story.

I wanted to do things differently, be the manager, and then the director I never had, or had once, so long ago. I wanted to right wrongs and make a difference and I did, for the most part. But all around me were others stiff suffering and I hadn’t the time nor capacity to make enough of a difference to help them. So I am not a manager or a director, for I will blow the whistle on what is happening and reach out beyond these roles to touch you all. Grab my hand, for now I’m free to walk with you.

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